vocaloidlyricsfandomcom-20200223-history
User talk:MC Macron
Welcome Hi, I'm an admin for the community. Welcome and thank you for your edit to 心做し (Kokoronashi)! If you need help getting started, check out our Song Article Guideline or contact me or here. For general help, you could also stop by Community Central to explore the forums and blogs. Also, please note that not all English translations can be added to this wiki, for reasons further discussed in the Translation Guidelines. Please leave me a message if I can help with anything. Enjoy your time at ! ElectricRaichu (talk) 02:23, July 17, 2019 (UTC) About Translations Hey, Thank you for adding a translation to the 君のいない世界には音も色もない (Kimi no Inai Sekai ni wa Oto mo Iro mo nai) page! I have (hopefully only temporarily) removed it, as part of the rules in our guidelines on translations. We remove all translations from translators we do not know so they can be checked by a native Japanese person. This is done to make sure that the translation is reliable. I have posted the translation below, so if you want feel free to continue making the translation here or in a blog post! If you need help with the translation, you could try asking ElectricRaichu, who speaks Japanese and often helps out with translations. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask them to me! Sorry for the confusion this might have caused, but I hope this message clears things up a bit. If it does not, don't be afraid to reach out! Thank you for reading this message and I hope you have a nice day =). Amandelen (talk) 16:58, July 20, 2019 (UTC) Welcome to VLW! Nice to see someone have a go at translating a song. Here's some feedback. :I've promptly noticed that :*The verb is in present/future tense, not past tense: "I'll soon (or quickly) realize that" :For some reason, we can never be molded into one existence :*Where do you get "for some reason" from? :*It's a matter of style, but "molded into one existence" loses the brevity of the original and adds unwanted nuances. I think it translates directly quite nicely: "we can never become one" :Since I am so weak and fragile :*I think the "but" is important here so you shouldn't lose it. Knowing it's unfulfillable doesn't change her wish: "But since ..." :I wish I can be with you :*''Yorisou'' is more than being with someone, it's being in close contact: "maybe I'll draw close to you." I least in her thoughts? :The heat superimposed by you makes me feel the extra coldness :*While kasaneru means "superimpose", it's a lifeless technical term, not a poetic way to express in English the feeling of the warmth of someone's hand in yours. :Even if only for now, :May I hold your hand tight? :*There's no "tight" in the Japanese. It just means, "Shall we hold hands?" :Even if it is only for one second, :Please leave the world after me :In the world without you :*Minor point, but I would say "In a''' world ..." :There is no sound or color left for me :*No need for "left for me". It translates nicely without need for elaborating. :Wonder if anybody will laugh at me :*NB At this point my understanding of the verse is getting hazy ... :But I don't care who it is :*Sounds like "whoever they may be" :Because I believe one day I will think like that :*I can't see "because" or "I believe" in the original text. :*However, I wonder if to relates to shinjite later on. :Even though I know nothing beyond the things I already know :*You've translated it as if it says mou shitte iru. shiru is in present/future tense, so it means "find out": "... beyond what I find out by myself" :Please still trust me :*''isasete'' is causative, "let me believe" :I Don't know whether the sky is going to shine or rain, :*I've never seen that kind of construction before so I can't be sure what it means but I would interpret it the same way. :*Maybe just "Is it raining? Is it shining?" :It's like a drawn curtain :So without seeing anything, :*I think you've understood it OK, but I'd connect the two lines a bit more closely: "Without seeing anything, as if the curtains were drawn," :I grieved at the things that I concealed :Open the window and it was too :*'''If I open the window, it'll be so dazzling" :That I have to turn my eyes back :And it is you who said, "It'll be fine." :*"But it was you ..." :I came to the world alone unable to find support :*Um, where do you get "unable to find support" from? "... world alone; again today I'll sleep alone" :Though I shall long have understood the pain like this :*It's not the pain that she understands, it's the statements in the previous line. Of course she knows the pain too, but the lyrics focus on the loneliness behind the pain. :*Literally, "I understand that sort of thing to the extent that I feel pain". I.e., "I know that so well that it hurts" :But since you give acceptance and give me denial, :*''kureta'' is past tense, "gave me". :If my heart that was made from those words have any heaviness, :*"was made": The tense is ''-te iku'', i.e., it continues being made into the future. :*"have": The subjunctive sounds odd to me. I think "has" would do. :*I think omosa can have the connotation of cheerlessness suggested by "heaviness", but it can also mean "weight" in the sense of "significance/importance". :I want it to be double in size (?) :*I think the idea is I want it to have a double share, i.e., enough for both you and me. :Even if it is only for one second, :Please leave the world after me :*It's a direct imperative so I would avoid "Please": "be here longer than me" :In the world without you :*"In a''' world ..." :I can not even take a breathe :*"I '''cannot even take a breath" :As the chances to get worried like this will not be much in remaining, :*''ageku'' means "struggle", doesn't it? :*I think it's a question: "How much time do I have left when I can struggle like this?" :please tell me the things you deem important :*It's not a request. okou is volitional, i.e., it's what the speaker is about to do. :*I think the ''-te oku'' construction means that she'll say it now and leave it like that, like we might say "I'll leave you with this: ..." :I still remember that since the day that I was near your side in the seat by the window :*"Since the day I was next to you at the seat by the window" :I have always been thinking about you :*NB oboeteru is the verb that completes the last line. So you can use remember here instead of the previous line, or I think it's nicer to leave it out and use "thinking about you" here instead. :I have always been thinking about you I hope this was helpful. Let me know if you have any further questions or if you disagree with something. I think we're nearly there with it. がんばってください！ ElectricRaichu (talk) 05:27, July 24, 2019 (UTC) I revised your translation and added it to the page. ElectricRaichu (talk) 01:23, August 1, 2019 (UTC) Hi, Raichu Sorry for coming back a little... To be honest, I feel like simply having learned a lot by reading your comments. And the lyrics you ended up updating were for sure, of great quality. Thanks for helping me translating this song that I really like : ) MC Macron (talk) 16:37, August 16, 2019 (UTC) It was a pleasure. I'm glad it was helpful for you too. Remember when translating, or even just reading, to take note of the verb tenses and any connectives (but, since, ...), and also try to make every word in the translation count! ElectricRaichu (talk) 23:54, August 16, 2019 (UTC)